Posted by My First Blush on
Most people at some time in their sexual journey through life at least think about anal sex and anal pleasuring. It is true that not everyone acts on these thoughts and desires and that is OK. However, for those of you who take the leap into the world of anal pleasuring there are some things you need to know in order to be safe, pleasurable and comfortable.
This is where justmindful.com comes in. We are here to give you all the 411 on anal sex and anal pleasuring so you and your partner can get the most out of your sexual experiences. So sit, back relax and read on.
What is it?
There are a lot of anal sex aficionados out there who never quite get the concept that there is a difference between anal pleasuring and anal sex. Now of course, anal sex can be pleasurable and for some people it is the only anal game in town. However, anal sex is not the only way to enjoy getting it on down under. Truth be told there is a lot to be said for expanding that game to include all the sports in the Olympics.
Anal sex is pretty self explanatory but for those who want to read it in black and white let me spell it out for you. Anal sex or anal intercourse is where one partner inserts their penis into the anus of the other partner. This can be between two men or a man and a woman.
Anal pleasuring on the other hand includes all forms of sexual stimulation to the anus. This includes but is not limited to using a tongue, finger, sex toy or penis to provide said sexual stimulation. Anal pleasuring is something two men, two women or a man and a woman can do. It is even something that can be done and is done when someone is flying solo.
Some people believe the myth that anal sex is just for gay men and if you are a man and do it, want to do it or find pleasure in receiving anal stimulation that makes you gay too. Nothing could be further from the truth.
People of all genders, sexual orientations and sexual identities engage in anal pleasuring. They may not admit it but they are out there. Perhaps they are doing it right now while you are reading this guide. As long as it is a consensual thing, do your thing.
Why Anal Sex?
Why do people play around with the ass as a part of sex? Well, quite simply, because it feels good. Let’s take this opportunity for a simple anatomy lesson:
The anus is full or nerve endings. Enough said.
There are more nerves in the anus than in the vagina. And it feels good when they are stroked and otherwise stimulated. The anus is also tighter than the vagina and many men find the tightness incredibly erotic and pleasurable.
If we take a look farther up in males we reach the prostate. Often referred to as the male G-Spot, the prostate is a gland that helps produce semen. Stimulating it during sex will also make a guy orgasm really intensely and ejaculate what feels like an ocean of fluid. Using a finger, a sex toy or a penis can really feel amazing.
Giving equal time to the women out there, the internal part of the clitoris is actually reachable through the anus. No joke. The clitoris is so much more than that tiny bulb on the outside of the body. But that is another guide. What you need to know about about the clit in reference to anal sex is that when something is inserted into a woman’s anus, part of the internal clitoris is stimulated and some women actually orgasm from anal sex and pleasuring. Remember that nerves are connected to other nerves so what sends a bolt of electricity through your body may very well be connected to other nerves that do the same.
Some people feel like anything that mixes the anus with sexual pleasure is off limits. The ultimate taboo so when they have a partner that is willing to go there actually making the trip can be really hot. They feel like they are going after forbidden fruit and there is something so incredibly arousing about that idea it makes them really want to try it.
Anal Safety Rules
It may seem ridiculous to think this is necessary to say this but there are a lot of people who need to see it in writing.
A vagina is warm and wet and expands to accommodate a penis or a sex toy. An anus is none of those things -well maybe warm- and does not come ready made for insertion.
Another necessary warning is: Please be careful what you insert in your anus and your partner’s anus. Emergency room doctors pulling objects out of people’s asses is not folklore. It really happens.
There is a plethora of sex toys made specifically for anal pleasure. We will talk about them later in this guide. For now, please do not put anything in any anus that was not designed for an anus. That means nothing without a flared end, nothing sharp, nothing alive, nothing made of flimsy glass, no flashlights, light bulbs, carrots or cucumbers. Please people: THINK. The anus is not like the vagina where there is a specific endpoint. It is not unusual for objects without a flared end to get lost up there and that means a trip to the ER if you are lucky. Surgery if you are not.
Lube is a MUST for any kind of anal play. The anus does not produce lube like the vagina does. It needs help to get ready for sex and sex play. There are some great lubes made just for anal sex play and there are other all purpose lubes as well. Use it. A lot of it. On the person’s anus and whatever you are going to put inside them. Don’t be afraid to add more lube as things go along.
Please no vaseline, cooking oil, butter or anything out of your kitchen. It doesn’t work, destroys condoms and traps bacteria. Companies that make lubricant spend tons of time researching and testing their products before they make it to the shelves. Let their expertise be to your benefit.
Condoms. Condoms. CONDOMS. This cannot be stressed enough. Because the anus is not the vagina the skin and tissue inside can be dryer and tear easier. Even with lube. That means HIV and other viruses as well as bacteria have an open pathway into your body. Please, for the love of your own sexual health and that of your partner, use condoms when engaging in anal sex. Use latex or polyurethane gloves when putting a finger or fingers up there.
You can also put condoms over sex toys to make them safer and easier to clean after sex. And that goes for the vagina as well as the anus.
One last thing: Never ever go from ass to vagina or mouth. Never. That is a surefire way to spread the bacteria in an anus to the vagina or mouth which can result is a serious infection. Wash your hands, penis, sex toy or whatever you are using first. And be sure to change condoms!
Things to Try When Going There
Nervous about trying anal sex for the first time? You are not alone. There are so many people who want to try it, want to experiment with anal pleasure but they are nervous about doing it. Will it hurt? Will I enjoy it? Will my partner enjoy it? These are just some of the common questions that come up when contemplating anal sex.
Or maybe you tried it and your first time out was not a great experience. If at first you don’t succeed....
Whatever the reason for your apprehension, here are some things you can do to make your journey into the ultimate unknown easier and pleasurable:
- Lube. We have already covered the importance of lube but it cannot be stressed enough. Use it liberally.
- Go to the bathroom before you engage in any type of anal play. In other words-poop. If you are empty down there it is going to make anal play easier, cleaner and safer.
- Go slow. Again, anal penetration is not the same as vaginal penetration. You have to take it slow. Penetrate slowly and carefully and the person on the receiving end is in charge. Take your lead from them. Insert a little at a time and have them let you know when they are ready for more. Same goes for speed and how vigorous the intercourse is.
- Forget the missionary position. That position is not optimal for anal sex. You want to try some type of doggie style position because when the receiving person is on all fours their anus and rectum are actually at an angle that makes penetration easier.
- You can also try a variation of the rear entry position where the person being penetrated lies on the bed with a couple pillows under their hips so their bottom is angles upward. This is a very desirable position for any type of anal play as the person can rest their chest on the bed and their bottom is still up at an angle allowing for easier penetration.
- One way to ease a person’s apprehension about anal sex is to let the receiver ride the other person. This way they can control the depth of penetration and the speed of intercourse.
- Take some deep breaths throughout and try to relax. Being able to relax makes anal play easier and more pleasurable.
- If your intent is to eventually have anal intercourse try starting out using sex toys. For example, butt plugs are a great way to introduce yourself and your partner to anal play and get the anus ready for a penis or larger toy. Start small and work your way up. While the anus doesn’t stretch like the vagina, in fact it usually snaps back right away, toys can help relax the sphincter muscles which can help the anus open enough to make penetration more comfortable.
Toys, Toys and More Toys
One of the best parts about anal sex play is the fact that there are an endless number of toys made just for someone’s anal adventure. It doesn’t matter if you are a novice or experienced user, there are toys out there for you.
Sex toys are a great way to experience and give anal pleasure and with today’s online ordering system and discrete delivery there is nothing stopping someone from engaging is some sexual experimentation. Check out a few I recommend here:
Anal Beads. They come on a string or a solid like structure. Some even vibrate. The start small and gradually increase in size as you go up the string. You can insert the whole thing or as many as you feel comfortable with. Insert them and then pull them out at orgasm and the intensity of your orgasm will skyrocket. There are so many to choose from! Take a look at some of the different kinds here: https://www.justmindful.com/collections/anal-sex-toys-beads
Butt Plugs. These also come in many different shapes and sizes. They should have a flared end. Butt plugs can make you feel naughty and get you thinking about anal pleasure early. Some people actually put one in hours before they have sex to get them in the mood. They can be made of silicone, steel, heavy glass and more. Some have a smooth surface, some have a textured surface. There is something for everyone. Consider a set. Take a look here: https://www.justmindful.com/collections/anal-sex-toys-butt-plugs.
Dildos. Some people think dildos are all huge and seeing one can make anal play seem intimidating. The truth about dildos is this: they come in all sizes and they are nothing to be scared of. Curved dildos are great for stimulating the prostate. Again, start small and work your way up if you are put off. You won’t regret it. There is literally an endless amount to choose from. Check out some of these: https://www.justmindful.com/collections/anal-sex-toys-dildos.
Anal Vibrators. For anyone wanted to go in or be entered through the back door, a vibrator is a must. There is nothing like experiencing the sensation of a good vibrator in your ass. Seriously. Remember the whole ass-clitoris and ass-prostate connections? Well a vibrator is an excellent way to give intense stimulation to these areas via the ass. Low speed, high speed, mini vibe or full size, you just cannot go wrong with an anal vibrator. Any of these should do the trick: https://www.justmindful.com/collections/anal-sex-toys-vibrators.
So there you have it. Comprehensive information about anal sex and pleasure. Just one more normal, pleasurable sexual activity you can engage in solo or with a consensual partner.