Your Sex Life Kinda Sucks… Here’s How to Turn Him On Again!
Posted by Laurel House on
He used to be visually turned on when he saw you walk around naked. He would stop and speechlessly stare mid-sentence. Your shape moving just above the top of his mind-consuming smartphone would be the only thing that could instantly and completely harness his attention. If you gave him an inch - a kiss, a snuggle, a lingering hug or even a seemingly seductive gaze, he would attempt to take a mile and respond with that look and throaty gnarl that says “I want you now.”
But not anymore.
Your sex life, and his interest in you as a whole, has recently (or not so recently) diminished. Aside from his normal-guy wandering eye tendency, you were the only one for him. And you knew it.
What happened?
Lately, he doesn’t seem to much notice when you take off your clothes, even when you’re wearing your best sexy lingerie set. It seems something else is always on his mind. He’s distracted. Sex feels requisite, but not sexy.
And it’s not just your sex life that has been affected by this shift. It’s your self-esteem, your confidence and your own desire for sex. You don’t feel sexy naked anymore. In fact, you feel just the opposite. The spark seems to have fizzled.
Is It Him? Or You?
Remember at the beginning of your relationship, as you were shaving your legs and bikini line thinking, “I can’t imagine ever not wanting to take the time to do this…” and now you can’t remember the last time that your legs felt smooth. What happened?
Show him you want him (even if you really don’t right now)!
Like women, men want to feel wanted, they want to be desired, they want to feel needed and loved, and they want to feel like you are trying. Just because you’ve moved in together, or you’ve been going out for a year, it doesn’t mean that suddenly he’s blind. You can’t just kill off the sexy girl look that you once had, the one who seduced him, and then wonder why the girl at the office wearing the short skirts and giving him attention is getting his attention back. It’s time to put some effort into your relationship! Don’t just sit there feeling insecure. It’s time to show him that you’ve still got it. You are the total package. It’s time to feel that way again.
It all starts in your head.
Do you prefer lounging in sweats at home, keeping your hair in an unkempt ponytail and wearing your cozy mismatched bra and panties? Mindset is a big part of it. Feel sexy, and you will act sexy. Dress up, shave your legs and adjust your attitude! When you dress up in breast-, butt- and thigh-flattering outfits, it’s almost impossible not to feel sexy and wanted. You might surprise yourself when you get a glance at your figure in the mirror, seeing your lace-, satin- or silk-framed shape and appreciating just how beautiful your body truly is.
Flirt with him!
Flirt with him when you go out. YES, flirt! You may have already gotten him, but that doesn’t mean that now you should just talk about that annoying chick at work, the frustrating thing your mom said, how stressed you are that you are gaining weight, and how you found yet another gray hair on your head! Come on now… do you think that’s sexy? Do you think that’s going to make him want you? Do you think that kind of conversation is going to make you want him? The answer is no, it’s not.
Wear your “special occasion” lingerie
This is similar to how I believe that you should actually use your fancy silverware
and china instead of keeping it stuffed in the back of the cabinet. Really, what are you saving it for? USE your nice stuff and enjoy it! You only live once. Wear your sexy lingerie often! You might think that he doesn’t notice it. You might feel like every time you put on those sexy stockings that he is too tired and passes out without getting an eye full of how hot (and uncomfortable) you have secretly been all night! And maybe you’re right, maybe he doesn’t notice, but he will definitely notice if you’re not wearing it. But remember the first time you put those brand new running shoes on and what a total thrill it was? Same thing… kind of. It's like getting all of that coveted china for your wedding, then never using it, or putting your treasured diamond necklace in a safety deposit box for safe keeping. Why have it if you don’t use it?
Any night, day, even breakfast, can be a special occasion, if you make it one. I know, sexy lingerie isn’t as comfortable as cotton panties. Well, having a lackluster relationship is worse. Believe me. It’s time to try… If you need to read Fifty Shades of Grey to get you in the mood, do it (it helps)!
Why is lingerie so exciting for men?
Lingerie feeds on men’s fantasies, fulfilling dreams that may have started to build when they were young boys and first stumbled upon a photo of a sexy woman. But more than sexy, it’s special. You are all dressed up with almost nothing on, and it’s just for him, for his eyes only! You are like a gift waiting to be unwrapped. In that moment, you’re more exciting than Christmas or the last night of Hanukah! But what is “sexy” and what turns a man on is highly debatable and totally dependent on your guy’s preferences. It’s often based on personal experiences and even fantasies that became branded into our brains from the time we were 10 years old and happened to peak at the big (though real back then) boobs in our dad’s Playboy magazines hidden under the bed. From boy shorts to crotchless panties, teddies to a white T- no bra, what styles, fantasy outfits, specific bra-and-panty sets each guy prefers, can be radically different from one to the next.
So, start to put some effort into yourself, your relationship and him again, and you will likely see him get excited about this new extra interest, as he turns that same attention back on you.