Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Toys

Posted by My First Blush on February 09, 2022

There’s probably a little room for kink in your life, but you don’t know until you try it. Bondage has come into the mainstream thanks to certain book series, but it’s actually quite different than what you read. Either way, it may have opened your eyes to a whole new world of possibilities. For others, perhaps you’ve been interested in bondage for a while but haven’t taken that first leap. That’s why we’ve put together a bondage toy guide for beginners.

See more Bondage Toy Guides

What is Bondage?

Bondage is form of sexual play that involves the use of restraints and other props to bring your partner to pleasure (or pain). This falls into the umbrella category of BDSM, which also includes dominant/submissive relationships and sadism and masochism. You may involve only some of these concepts into your private play, but you’ll just have to talk to your partner and see what you’re willing to try.

Bondage toys are used to enhance your playtime and can include restraints, blindfolds, paddles, and more.

Why Use Bondage Toys?

Bondage is partially about letting your lover take control of your destiny. Toys like these can make your nights wilder and more fulfilling. In fact, some studies have shown that people who engage in BDSM are generally more relaxed and have a strong relationship with their partner. Essentially, BDSM can improve your mental health and help you communicate better with your partner.

Who Can Use Bondage Toys?

Bondage toys are for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that you should use all the bondage toys that are out there. Start easy, communicate with your partner, and decide what you are willing to try as well as what you are not comfortable with. You can engage in light or aggressive bondage with your lover, no matter what your sexual preferences are. In fact, this is the time to get it all out there without any preconceived ideas or expectations.

Types of Bondage Toys

You can find a pretty wide selection of bondage toys. Simply do a quick search and you’ll find more than you probably expected.

Handcuffs and Restraints

Restraints are probably the first thing people think of when they think of bondage. While it’s an important part of bondage play, it’s not the only thing you can try. Regardless, you can find all sorts of restraints, from the fuzzy pink handcuffs to silk ropes. Experiment with your partner and learn what gets you both off. Some love the idea of being tied down and vulnerable, while others love the idea of having their lover at their mercy. Some restraints require knowledge of knots, while others simply use Velcro or snaps. Some cuffs and restraints can get pretty involved, allowing you to position your partner exactly where you want them, and nowhere else.

Blindfolds

Another way to play is to restrict your partner’s senses. Take one sense away and the others are heightened. Imagine your playmate bound and blindfolded while you tease away. Bring your partner the unexpected, including temperature play. This is a good time to bring out ticklers, or maybe even a flogger if you’re advanced. Blindfolds are inexpensive and are a great way to experiment with light bondage. After all, you don’t know what you like until you try it.

Gags

Another way to take control of your lover is to supply them with a gag. Gags take away the ability to speak, which means that you’ll need to read each other a lot better in order to determine if your partner is uncomfortable. You may also want to use a hand signal or some other form of nonverbal communication. Many people immediately think of ball gags, but there are also gags that hold the mouth open in an O shape and others till that have a dildo attachment. What happens next is up to you.

Sex Swings

Imagine being completely strapped up, relinquishing your freedom to your partner. Sex swings allow you to do all that and more! Many times sex swings provide a lot of new positions - many much more intense than the standard missionary etc... You're also many times suspended in the air, allowing your partner to enjoy every part of you. These are completely safe when installed properly and provide a lot of excitement! Mix this up with other bondage toys for an extremely kinky experience.

Beginners' BDSM Kits

If you’ve never tried bondage before, it may seem hard to know where to start. You may want to invest in a beginner’s bondage kit. This type of kit will include a few different ways to explore bondage theories that you have only dreamed of before. Any good kit will have some form of restraints, a blindfold, and a few other treats to get you started. Try it all and see where you want to go from there. Don’t be afraid to get naughty!

Chastity Devices

For the ultimate in power plays, force your partner to stop touching by putting him in a chastity belt. He’ll just have to get used to the pleasure of denial and sexual deprivation. Give your keys to your playmate and let them decide when you finally get some fulfillment. The wearer’s penis will be encapsulated in a cage, shaped just so that he can’t get an erection (or at least it’s going to be very uncomfortable to try. Hands off!

Paddles and Whips

Getting punished like the naughty person you are isn’t for everyone, but you may just develop a taste for spankings and more. Before you invest in any hardware, start with some spanking during playtime and see how receptive you are to it (giving or receiving). Then you can start to experiment with paddles, whips, and floggers. Start gentle and work your way into a frenzy. Use your safe word if it gets to be too much. To familiarize yourself with some of the options out there, a paddle is a flat device that is sometimes covered in fabric. A paddle can be made from different materials such as wood. After paddles, you can advance to floggers, which can cause a lot of small strikes. There are also whips and canes, but it’s best to practice before trying on a person, as you could unintentionally go too far. It’s also a good time to mention ticklers, as it’s a different form of sensation play. These are made from delicate materials (like feathers) that are used to tickle and tease and drive you wild with desire.

Clamps

How much do you love those nipples? Enough to clamp it down? There is a huge variety in nipple clamps and clitoral clamps that will cause a little pain and a lot of pleasure from the weight and the movement. Be sure to take care of those sensitive areas immediately after removing the clamps. They will prompt attention. If clamps aren’t your thing, take a look at nipple suckers that delight by doing exactly what you think.

Electro Sex Toys

Electro sex is relatively new to the bondage scene and definitely isn’t for beginners, but it’s well worth the introduction. Some people compare electro sex to using vibrator, but with a slightly more intense feeling. It sends electrical pulses to your sensitive areas, which can be barely noticeable to the feeling of pins and needles. Start slow and gradually turn it up to experiment.

Bondage Toy Materials

Part of the joys of bondage is that you could be exposed to different sensations via toys, clothing, and accessories. There are some different materials you may find when you’re looking for bondage toys.

• Metal – Metal has the potential to bring pleasure or pain, or maybe a little bit of both. It’s likely you’re familiar with the ubiquitous handcuffs, but there are also more advanced forms of restraint such as chastity belts.
• Leather – This is a classic element to bondage play. Many people have a leather kink, while others simply find that it looks absolutely hot on your partner.
• Latex – Like leather, some people get really turned on by latex. However, make sure your partner doesn’t have a latex allergy.

Caring for Your Bondage Toys

You’ll want to keep things as neat and clean as possible. If you’re using additional toys like dildos or vibrators, you’ll want to make sure to clean them before and after each use. Use warm soap and water or an antibacterial toy cleaner. In addition, when you’re using lubricant, it needs to be water based if you’re playing with toys. Water-based lube is non-reactive, unlike oil and silicone lubes, which can damage certain toy materials.

When you’re not using your bondage toys, keep them stored away in a discrete area. Make it naughtier and have a chest that’s just for your toys that only you and your partner know about—or be bold and hide it in plain sight!

Choosing a Bondage Toy

Bondage toys encompass such a huge range that it can be hard to choose where to start. Here are a few ways you can narrow down the search parameters.

• Type of Play – Think about what got you excited about bondage in the first place. Did you see someone blindfolded and get a little turned on? Or did you maybe think that being tied up sounded fun? Perhaps you just want to try some role playing. Wherever you interest was piqued, that’s where you start. Once you start playing, start getting creative and think about what you’d like to try next.
• Materials – Depending on what sensations you are looking for, you may choose some toys over others. If you don’t think metal is your thing, maybe opt for the Velcro cuffs instead.
• Buy a Kit – If you’re really interested and don’t quite know where to start, consider investing in a beginner’s bondage kit. These kits contain a good assortment of toys that are meant to help you explore your boundaries.

How to Play with Your Bondage Toys

If you think you’re ready to take your play to a whole new level, it’s time to learn a few ground rules.

• Consent – To have fun without trouble, make sure you and your partner communicate about what you want to do. Nothing happens without consent, and always ask before trying something new. That being said, sometimes in kinky bedroom play, you may find yourself saying “no” or “stop” without really meaning it. That’s why it’s important to create a safe word that stops play if someone is uncomfortable. Make it something unusual that doesn’t come up in normal conversation, like “elephant”.
• Understand your limits – You know yourself better than anybody else, so it’s good to know what are called soft limits and hard limits. Hard limits are absolute no-nos, while soft limits are things you might be willing to try with some boundaries in place.
• Introduce other toys – There are more toys you can play with beyond restraints and paddles. Consider introducing toys like dildos and vibrators into the mix. Think of the possibilities of surprising a blindfolded partner with something like a cool glass toy.
• Aftercare – Role playing and other bondage elements can be hard physically and emotionally sometimes. Take care of each other after playtime. Clean up and snuggle, and immediately release your partner from any restraints. Massage any areas that may have been spanked or restrained too hard. Be sure to talk about what you liked, what you didn’t like, and what you would like to do in the future.

Bondage is a way to spice up an ordinary sex life. Get to know yourself and your partner better and get closer than ever before. Be sure to communicate clearly and you’ll have a wonderful time losing control—no matter what side you’re on! Be safe and have fun!